When I think back to getting engaged, planning a wedding, and starting a new life with the person I chose to walk this journey with, one thing was always at the center: money. From the wedding venue and guest list to our first home and the neighborhood where we would raise our children, financial decisions shaped every step.
Now, as we approach our eldest daughter’s wedding—just a month away—we eagerly await the moment when we welcome a son into our family. Reflecting on our 32+ years of experience, if this young couple were seeking advice from Banker Mom, what would I share about money and marriage?
1. Honest conversations build strong foundations.
Money is at the heart of many disagreements in relationships. Before entering a lifetime together, it’s crucial to share the full picture of one another’s finances. Is your future spouse a spender or a saver? Do they prefer shared accounts or separate ones? While the latter wouldn’t have worked for me, I have friends who keep individual accounts and simply divide expenses - it’s about what works for you both.
2. Big financial decisions require patience.
Take your time when making major financial choices. Weigh the pros and cons together and find a compromise. When we bought our first home, it needed everything. Our mortgage lender advised us to take the full amount offered so we’d have funds for repairs. We didn’t listen.
We opted for a smaller mortgage, choosing to pay for repairs out of pocket over time. Well, years later, we refinanced multiple times to cover those same costs. Had we taken the funds upfront, we wouldn’t have a mortgage today! Listen to those with experience, they’re here to guide you.
3. Credit is a tool, not a crutch.
Used wisely and sparingly, credit can be a great asset. Always understand the money coming in, budget for expenses, and save for the unexpected, because life will throw surprises your way. If you can’t afford something outright, ask yourself whether you really need it.
4. Invest in your future early.
Maximize your 401(k) contributions from the start, and you’ll never miss the money. It’s harder to start later when you’ve already adjusted to spending your full paycheck. If you’re self-employed, look into SEP (Self-Employed Plans) or open a Simple IRA - contribute regularly, just as you would with a traditional 401(k).
5. Live within your means.
On paper, everything looks possible. Just because you’re approved for a $500,000 mortgage doesn’t mean you need to take it. Financial flexibility will serve you well in the long run. And one last piece of advice? Just elope! Yours truly,
Yours truly,
Jennifer Supranowicz "Banker Mom"